According to the NHS website;

The chemicals in permanent and semi-permanent hair dyes are not highly toxic. Most research, although limited, shows it’s safe to colour your hair while pregnant.

Some studies have found that very high doses of the chemicals in hair dyes may cause harm. However, these doses are massive compared with the very low amount of chemicals a woman is exposed to when colouring her hair.

While it would appear to be ‘safe’ to use regular, chemical hair dyes during pregnancy the research is limited and that is what bothers me. With many other alternatives out there, why take the risk? I have been getting my hair highlighted regularly for years but recently have been frustrated that the colour has faded within a few weeks meaning I have to get it re-done more regularly. When I was a teenager, I discovered Lush Henna. I was going through a red phase and used their Caca Rouge natural henna hair dye. I have decided to embrace this opportunity to re-visit my wild, red head days!

It is messy and it is long but in my opinion totally worth it! Keep reading for a how to guide on using Lush’s Henna at home…I highly recommend blocking out a day for this and having another project you can get on with at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be going anywhere!

The Lush henna range comes in four shades, Caca Rouge (‘phoenix from the flames,’ a fiery red), Caca brun (‘hot chocolate), Caca marron (chestnut) and Caca noir (Indigo). A block of 6 (as pictured) costs £10.95 but you won’t need to use the whole thing depending on your hair length.

You will need:

• your chosen henna bar
• cling film
• boiling water
• heatproof bowl
• vaseline
• rubber gloves (black pair provided with the henna)
• comb
• dark towels
• newspaper (for the floor)
• old, dark clothing with long sleeves
• something to mix with (I used wooden chopsticks from the takeaway stash as I didn’t want to sacrifice my wooden spoon)

I highly recommend removing anything from your bathroom that isn’t required to limit the amount of surfaces that can be stained – trust me you will be dropping henna everywhere!

Step 1:

Chop your henna into smaller chunks – the smaller and finer the chunks the easier it will be to mix. As a guide, my hair is shoulder length and I used half a large block (3 small blocks) and 300ml of boiling water. I was left with some excess so will probably only use 2 small blocks next time.

Step 2:

Begin to add the boiling water and start mixing – this part is a bit of a work out! Your  mixture will be lumpy initially but keep mixing and adding water until you get the consistency of melted chocolate. I was impatient and still had some lumps in my mixture when I applied. You can squish them in but this does make the process even messier! Once fully combined with the boiling water your mixture should look something like this…(don’t worry about it being green!)

You do need to work quite quickly as the mixture needs to be hot when you apply it. The heat releases the natural oils in the henna which means your hair gets a deep conditioning treatment while the colour gets to work.

Step 3:

Whilst you let the henna cool slightly so you are able to apply it without burning yourself, cover your bathroom floor (or where ever you are applying) in newspaper. I used a dark towel and later realised my mistake! Newspaper can just be picked up and thrown in the recycling, towels have to be carefully picked up, shaken outside and put on a boil wash! Pleased to say that the henna did not bleach or discolour my navy towel (or rather, the husband’s navy towel!).

If you are wearing a long sleeved dark top you probably don’t need to worry too much about covering your shoulders with a towel but if like me you naively wear a vest top, you should probably cover up – I did not!

Step 4:

Due to the messy nature of the application and the fact I was on my own, I’m afraid this is where the images stop!

Ensure your sch-mear vaseline liberally around your hairline paying close attention to behind your ears and back of your neck.

Step 5:

Put your gloves on and begin by applying the mixture, which should still be hot but cool enough to touch with your gloves on, to the roots. This part is pretty simple, I used a comb to help shift my hair around and applied the mixture with my fingertips. You can use a hair dye brush if you prefer.

Step 6:

Once you have covered your roots it starts to get really messy. Think of applying a layer of mud to your hair! There will come a point when you begin to apply the mixture to the lengths of your hair when you think, ‘What am I doing?!’ This is where you need to persevere. The more saturated your hair gets the easier it becomes to manage so keep going! Ensure that every strand is coated with the mixture then, if your hair is long enough, twist it onto the top of your head. At this point, I like to apply what I call a ‘binding coat,’ and sch-mear more of the mixture on top to ensure it sticks!

Step 7:

Remove your gloves and wrap your head in cling film ensuring you cover as much of your hair as possible. You are probably going to need a nap after this gruelling process so try and cover to the hairline if possible.

If you have dropped henna on any surfaces or yourself, now is the time to swiftly clean these up before they have a chance to stain. Take care to wipe round your hairline, back of your neck, behind your ears and even in your ears! I kid you not! As I was wearing a vest top, I just stripped and hopped in the shower while my hair was wrapped and washed all the bits off. Don’t worry, it is normal to drop chunks of henna around the place!

Step 8:

You wait! Lush recommend leaving the mixture on for 2 hours, but you can leave it on far longer for a deeper, intenser outcome. I have previously left it on overnight making sure to have dark bedding and towels on the bed. It’s reassuring to know that this product won’t damage my hair, it won’t cause any burning or tingling of the scalp and it isn’t going to harm baby. While I was cleaning away the excess, it was also reassuring to know that I wasn’t disposing of any harmful chemicals that could damage the environment.

On this occasion, I left the mixture on for approximately 4 and a half hours while I re-finished the bedroom furniture.

Step 9:

Rinsing it out. Take note; this is gruelling and I will probably need someone to help me with this later on in pregnancy as leaning over the side of the bath for a good 15-20 minutes is not something that should be done unsupervised!

I didn’t bother using gloves when I rinsed it out, I just unwrapped the cling film and ran the warm water through my hair. Try not to touch it too much at this point or you will end up with impossible tangles. You will watch as green, muddy chunks and grit was down the plughole. Fear not, your hair will not be green!

When you notice a reduction in the amount of grit coming out, I recommend running conditioner through prior to shampooing – this helps with the tangling issue. Once you have rinsed out the conditioner, your hair should be manageable enough to shampoo. Make sure you give your scalp, hairline and back of your neck a good scrub. Rinse and repeat!

Once you see the water turn clear condition again. The henna treatment is like a deep conditioner so I only really use the conditioner to ensure I’ve got all the henna out and it’s easier to comb through after.

Step 10:

Dry and admire!

You will hopefully be pleased with the results – I love my Anne of Green Gables red, just like it was many years ago! You should also notice that your hair is beautifully soft and shiny.  You will also notice that over the next 24 hours, the colour will get a little brighter.

The image on the left is the before shot, as you can see all my red highlights have completely faded to blonde. The right is immediately after rinsing out the henna. Your finished result will depend entirely on your foundation colour and everyone will have a slightly different result. Mine is a bright ginger because I had a light base but if your hair is darker, you will get a deeper reddy-brown finish. If you want to be a red head but you are afraid of being too ginge, you mix some of the Caca rouge with either Caca marron or brun to tone it down. Each time you use the henna, your colour will deepen and intensify and due to the natural ingredients, you can apply it as often as you wish without causing any damage.

The only thing using hair dye will cost you is time. To get my hair highlighted costs £90. A large block of henna costs £10.95 and you can get 2-3 applications out of this. That is a huge saving and the condition of my hair has never been better. The more you use it the easier it gets and once you get over the feeling that you are putting mud in your hair it’s actually quite fun! I am a little concerned at how I’ll be able to manage it later in my pregnancy but I’m hoping husband will help! Post-baby, I’ll be booking out the time and turning it into a complete at home spa day!

Your doctor or mid-wife will arrange your ultrasound appointment for you at your designated hospital. This will take place when you are between 11 and 13 weeks pregnant. The purpose of this first scan is to confirm the estimated due date (EDD), to check the development of the baby’s organs and spine and to check how many are in there!

You will also be offered screening tests for Down’s, Edward’s and Patau’s syndromes. Don’t worry if you’re not sure what these are, you will be given information prior to your appointment and with your partner you have to decided whether or not you want to go ahead with these tests. You will have to sign the yellow form and bring it with you to your appointment. These tests are non-invasive: a measurement is taken from the back of the baby’s neck and further blood tests are done on the day. My husband and I decided to have all the tests but some people choose not to, it’s entirely up to you.

Seeing your baby for the first time is exciting however; I was so nervous and filled with ‘what ifs…?’ What if there is nothing in there? What if there is no heartbeat? What if there’s more than one? Husband on the other hand was super excited and was doing his annoying leg jiggly thing in the waiting room!

Eventually, we were called in by the world’s happiest sonographer. I kid you not, my husband kept mouthing at me, ‘How happy is she? Why is she so happy?’ I imagine because she has a pretty cool job showing parents their baby for the first time.

The sonographer explained what would happen and that if she stopped talking during the examination, not to worry as she needs to concentrate when taking the measurements. She talked through what she would be looking for, although I wasn’t really taking much of this in. When I hopped up on the table, there was a tv screen on the wall in front which meant that we could see the image clearly without having to twist round. I suggest wearing loose clothing, trousers and a top rather than a dress or skirt as you need to shimmy your bottoms down and lift your top up. The sonographer tucks tissue into your waistband before applying the nice, cold jelly.

I’m sure I held my breathe for this next bit. When you’re waiting for the image to appear is like time standing still. After an age, a blurry black and white image appears and the sonographer declares, there it is, there’s baby. Um…where? She showed us the heartbeat which was a black mass beating away (yay!) and explained that the baby was lying on its stomach. Ah. That’s not like the images I’ve seen of all my friends’ ultrasounds. Our baby was quite clearly having a nap on its front with its arms tucked underneath. When she prodded my tummy, the baby jumped, like a full body bounce rather than a kick! That was amazing. She showed us the legs, spine, pointed out the brain and bladder then took several measurements while we both watched the screen in awe.

Towards the end of the scan (the appointment lasts about 20-30 minutes), the sonographer began really prodding my tummy to encourage the baby to turn over. This doesn’t really hurt but is a bit weird! Finally, baby decided to play and rolled over just enough that the sonographer was able to capture an image of its side profile. Unfortunately, baby had had enough and turned its back on us! You can buy images for £3 each (pound coins only in my hospital) however; as our images weren’t that clear due to the position of the baby, she gave us the two below for free.

First image: side profile of baby’s facial features, second image: baby upside down!

After the scan,  I then went to another room to have blood taken for the screening tests. Because my mum has a history of pre-eclampsia, my mid-wife had requested an extra blood test. Unfortunately, during the blood test, the needle slipped out! My worst nightmare! While they were unable to get the final test, they were able to get enough for the screening tests so I’ll have to have the pre-eclampsia test at a later date!

My screening test results were uploaded to the Maternity Notes app several days after my appointment as they all came back low risk.  I got a letter about a week later confirming this. If there is a concern your mid-wife or doctor will call you. No news is good news.

I felt such relief after the scan, knowing that there is something in there and so far everything is developing as it should. Hopefully, I’ll be able to enjoy the 20 week scan more!

My first appointment with the midwife was set up for the week following my doctor’s appointment. I was told it would be at least 40 minutes and that I would need to bring a urine sample but that was all. I had no idea what to expect. Dutifully, husband took another half day and came with me. Just as well. If the father can go to the appointment too it is most useful as there are so many questions about your history, your family’s history as well as the father’s.

The appointment began in very much the same way as my initial appointment with the doctor. She checked my blood pressure, height and weight to work out my BMI and checked the estimated due date based on the first date of my last period. She tested my urine (can’t remember what for but it was fine!) and sent the rest of it off. Presumably, somewhere along the line someone does an actual pregnancy test, right? I still don’t know – I guess they just take your word for it!

After running through my medical history, my family’s and any issues my mum had during pregnancy (high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia) we then went through my husband’s side of the family. It was extensive but except for an extra blood test I need to have for pre-eclampsia, I was considered to be low risk. Your mid-wife will take everything into consideration at this point and make a judgement as to whether you are high or low risk, but keep in mind that this could change depending on the results of further blood tests and scans.

I wish I could say that was all and it was relatively painless but this will be the first of many blood tests! I’m not great at having blood taken and in this first appointment the midwife filled 3, yes 3, vials. Vampire! These are sent off to test blood type, rhesus, HIV/aids, syphilis and hep. B. I can’t pretend to know what all of this means and if you want to read up on all the different tests that are done at this stage, then I highly recommend Clemmie Hooper’s How to grow a baby and push it out. 

The only other test done at this appointment was a carbon monoxide test – you just blow into a tube for what seems like a very long time. Generally, a healthy result is 3 or below. I was a 4 but the midwife wasn’t worried. She said anything closer to 20 would be cause for concern.

In total, the appointment lasted about an hour. Talk about the actual birth was quite brief. You are designated your closest hospital but you can choose another if you feel strongly enough. The mid-wife briefly talked about the different options. At my local hospital, there is a maternity ward within the hospital and a separate mid-wife led unit. At the moment, as I am low risk, I am ‘booked’ into the mid-wife unit. You can opt for the hospital ward or a home birth but I think it’s too early to really make that kind of decision. I’m going to see how my pregnancy progresses. If you haven’t already been sent confirmation of your 12 week scan, ask your mid-wife to chase this up.

Your maternity notes: these are now uploaded to an app, there is no longer a hard copy of your notes that you carry around. The app Maternity Notes, can be downloaded onto more than one device and has a pin that you need to enter each time you log in. All of my blood test results have been added within a few days, but if there are any concerns, your mid-wife or doctor will call you. It also lists any past and upcoming appointments.

And that was it! It can be very overwhelming at this point especially as you may not want to discuss your pregnancy with anyone but your partner. We had both agreed to keep it to ourselves until our 12 week scan (although we did have to reveal to parents a little earlier!) and as much as you want to be excited and enjoy the moment, the second you get that positive result, doubts and paranoia creep in. Make sure you take the time to do something to mark the occasion. Take time for yourself or do something together. My husband had booked tickets to the ballet as a surprise after our first mid-wife appointment and luckily I wasn’t experiencing any morning sickness so could enjoy dinner out.

Once you get that positive result, what happens next? I had no idea. I knew I would have to see the doctor but when? How soon? We were also still registered at a practice from our previous address and so the first thing we needed to do was find a surgery closer to home. Once we’d done that, we made an appointment and the husband dutifully took a half day from work to come too.

When we arrived, there were balloons, confetti, welcome drinks and  a parade…standard treatment for first time parents.

Or NOT.

That first appointment, I’m afraid, is rather anticlimactic. We got a congratulations and a ‘pregnancy pack,’ that contained some leaflets and a mini magazine. The doctor asked me the usual bog standard questions;

Do you smoke? No

How much do you drink? More than what I’m telling you (pre-pregnancy obvs.)

First date of last period? 27th April

Estimated due date therefore: 1st February 2019 (to be confirmed at 12 week scan)

Checked blood pressure, height and weight and then told me to make an appointment with the midwife.

That was it. No confirmatory pregnancy test, he just took my word for it and off I went.

Good advice from Ms Moira Rose especially if trying to conceive. I downloaded the Flo app when I came off the pill over two years ago. Not because we were trying then, but I wanted to make sure it was well and truly out of my system before we started trying and tracking my cycle would hopefully mean there would be no little accidents! The app tracked my cycle in the months leading up to ‘the time’ and had settled on a 30 day cycle in the 3-4 months prior to ‘trying.’

It wasn’t as easy as I expected. Working out cycle length and ovulation dates, which the app does, made the process seem rather technical. I still have no idea how people accidentally fall pregnant, so much has to come together at the right time and you can be doing everything ‘right’ and still, nothing can happen. But, we planned weekends away and romantic nights in, trying to make sure it didn’t become mechanical and something we just ‘had to do.’ Ah, yes the innocence of the first timers. I was trying to stay grounded and realistic, telling the husband that it could take months or years of trying. On the other hand, he was convinced it would happen immediately.

It didn’t.

Using the app, we worked out my ovulation date based on my 30 day cycle and had a lovely weekend away. The week my period was due was my mum’s 60th birthday and everyone knows I love my wine. I was therefore panicking about how I could possibly get away without drinking. The day before we were due to leave, I was a day late and took a test.

NOT PREGNANT!

Great, I thought, I can have a glass of wine after all. The weekend wore on and still there was no sign of my period and when we returned back home, I was 4 days late. Another test confirmed once again, NOT PREGNANT. It’s very strange the emotions that occur here. I had gone from thinking ‘Oh, shit, I’m not sure I’m ready for this,’ to,’ What is happening, and why does it say I’m not pregnant?’ I went from, ‘Hmmm, well, I guess I think I want a baby,’ to,’ Yes I want a baby and I want it NOW!’ Amazing how when you think you have something you’re not sure you wanted in the first place just how disappointing it is when it is taken away. A day later and my period came. Just my cycle playing a cruel joke on me. It seemingly had returned to a 35 day cycle. To be fair, my husband had argued that I am a Tuesday girl.

So I input the new dates and ovulation for the next month was re-calculated and once again, romantic nights were planned and plenty of sex was had. Long story short, it didn’t happen again. I had not been prepared for how nutty I would get. We had only been trying for two months but I was suddenly googling infertility and sending myself crazy with thoughts of ‘What could be wrong?’ Even the husband started taking it more seriously and bought ‘the shorts.’

Month 3 and I decided to try an ovulation test kit. It had suddenly got very serious, very quickly.

I used the Clearblue digital test kit. Now these are expensive so I started with just the 10 pack. Based on my now changing cycle, it recommended that I start using them (peeing on them) around day 14 of my cycle. The app had predicted my ovulation date at around day 16 so that made sense. Maybe I’d been ovulating early…

Days passed and that smiley face was nowhere to be seen. Morning after morning there was nothing but a blank circle staring back at me. In the words of Janice, OH…MY…GAAAAAWD! The torture. I started thinking that I was infertile, incapable of ovulating, what were these trick periods that I had been having for years making me think I was capable of bearing a child. I cursed the stupid pill I had taken day after day for 10 years.

Finally, on day 20 or 21 (I can’t actually remember!), almost a week after the app had predicted I would ovulate, I finally got a smiley face! Now, the apps are great at helping you track your cycle length but in terms of predicting ovulation, if you really want to know, get some pee sticks. Unfortunately, that week my husband had been really busy at work and was shattered so it became a ‘thing we had to do.’ A ‘Pants off, Bing,’ moment, truly! It was not romantic or sexy but it was done!

A couple of days later, my mum was rushed to hospital and for the first time I thought, well, I doubt it has happened this time. The first two times I was convinced I was pregnant, but this time, not so much. I was preoccupied with work and booking a flight home to see my mum in hospital that I put the queasiness down to the stress and put it out of my mind. By the time I returned home I was a couple of days late, but as my cycle had been a bit changeable I still didn’t think IT had happened. I still took the test though. Here’s what you will find. Science and facts will lose all meaning. It won’t matter that you took a test 20 minutes ago, you will find yourself peeing on sticks every half hour if you bulk buy – just in case. Here’s a tip – don’t bulk buy!

Annoyingly I grabbed the non-digital one in a pack of two. Managed to pee on it properly (it’s harder than it seems, trust me) and waited. Very slowly, the blue lines began to appear. I checked and re-checked the instructions, I mean how hard is it? A blue cross means your pregnant, one horizontal line means you’re not. Even if one line is fainter than the other, a positive is a positive. I have never been more confused. I thought it was a cross, but it was very faint. My husband, who wanted a well thought out Pinterest-esque reveal was met with, ‘Well, do you want to know now or not?’ What I was really asking was,’ Can you please look at this damn thing because after years of education I cannot for the life of me judge whether this is a cross or not?’

Being a scientist, the husband wanted confirmation. So the next morning I grabbed the digital test, the one that tells you how many weeks, and attempted to pee on it. I say attempted because all of a sudden I got the stage fright. What if it was negative? How crushing that would be? Despite questioning if we were ready for this and if this was really what we wanted, I had learned very quickly that yes, I do very much want a baby. Despite genuinely really needing to pee, I froze. Only a dribble landed on the test strip. Needless to say the result was a big fat NOT PREGNANT!

A few days later, another digital test confirmed that yes I was 2-3 weeks pregnant. Yippeeee!

I have learned several things from this experience:

1. It is much harder to get pregnant than you think and the more you want it, the harder it seems
2. It is a lot harder to pee on a stick than it would appear
3. For me, the ovulation test kit was a more reliable way to identify my ovulation window
4. The husband wants a baby more than he let on (evidence – ‘the shorts’)
5. No matter how relaxed you think your approach to having a baby is, it will turn you into a crazy person, which leads me onto point 6…
6.  STAY AWAY from Google!

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve just found out your pregnant and like me, you have no idea what happens next! You may (or may not) have had the ‘let’s make a baby,’ conversation with your other half, downloaded an app, planned weekends away, bought ovulation test kits and (he) may have even bought ‘the shorts.’ Pictures of cute babies fill your mind and you obsessively start peeing on sticks…even though you just did a test 10 minutes ago,,,you never know…!

Then, it happens. You get the cross or the two pink lines or the crystal clear ‘PREGNANT – 2-3 WEEKS,’ and then what? That’s as far as I got too. My husband wanted me to surprise him with the news by planning some kind of, well, surprise. I stuck my head out of the bathroom door and said ‘Do you want to know now or not?’ A beautiful moment. I just can’t keep a secret and after I showed him the rather feint blue cross we were stumped. What happens next?

His idea…pee on another one, just to make sure. Dutifully, the following morning, I did. Problem – all of a sudden I got the stage fright…nothing! Barely a drop landed on the bit you’re actually meant to pee on (it’s harder than it seems) and I was faced with a stark NOT PREGNANT. Damn. I was about 5 days late and I had the positive the night before so I was sure I was, but those two words were still a slap in the face. A few days later, I tried again and after a false start, got the positive again. Yippee!

We were still registered with our previous doctor so the first thing we did was find a surgery closer to home and made an appointment…

Step 1: make an appointment with your doctor

In this blog I will document the next steps, the first appointment with your doctor then the midwife, your first scan, morning sickness, how to stay beautiful and everything in between!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

12 weeks and 6 days (first scan)